Thursday, 15 May 2008

Mini Rant and Randomness

So I realise I said I'd write something about the government's response to the petition to bring back free accomodation for FY1 doctors. Because I've been so busy freaking out and not revising which I'll explain in a minute it's going to be a short rant. There were a few points that really bothered me.

1. They basically tell us to be grateful for the 2.2% pay increase this year. Well that would be nice if the inflation on my student loan wasn't over 4%. So technically thats a pay decrease when going along with the inflation they use to measure student loan interest and most other things in the country.

2. It also says we should be glad we're not having to work such stupidly long hours. To be fair I'd rather work the hours so I can be a competant doctor. In fact most doctors will probably end up working long hours still, they just won't get that reflected in their pay packet.

3. It says doctors should be treated like all other healthcare professionals. Does that mean like shit? Because thats pretty much how they seem to be treating everyone these days... Grrr.

Rant over.

Now for the explanation of why I've spent the whole day freaking out. Well yesterday the GP said I needed a lymph node taken out or biopsied to make sure I don't have lymphoma. As I am borderline for "urgent" referal and I have exams for the next 3 weeks, we took a mutual decision to make the referal non-urgent so I can do my exams and if anything changes before my appointment with the surgeon I should go back to the GP.

I've finally explained all this to my Dad and properly freaked him out and I feel awful for him. My Mum died of cancer 8 years ago, as did his mother 7 years ago and his father 2 years ago. So although the chances of me having anything are stupidly slim, as I told him, he's still really worried. I feel awful for making him feel bad. To make it worse all I want to do is go home, have a big cuddle and cry about it. I'm actually getting really scared. Unfortunately at home I'll get absolutely no revision done, which is even worse than the little revision I'm doing here.

I've done half the revision I should have done and I just can't be bothered. It's too difficult and I'm knackered and grumpy. Meh.

On the plus side I've lost loads of weight in the last month (... yes I realise considering the whole possible lymphoma thing I shouldn't be so happy about this), so I bought a new pair of jeans which look really good. To be fair I only bought them because they look teeny tiny on the hanger and actually fit on my bum! Granted it's just one size less but when you're little like me one size is alot!

Lily xXx


Anna said...

Oh sweetheart, what a lot of stress you're under.

I've been reading your achives, and you really have been under the weather. Which is just what you need on top of exam stress :( At least you know there's a plan in place to get it sorted after the exams, so you can concentrate on the degree stuff first.

I really hope you get to where you want to be with your revision and the exams go well - at least, as well as these things can! Ooooh, and I hope you manage to get nicely golden without smelling too bad!

the little medic said...

If you haven't already, make sure the exams office at your univeristy are aware of what is going on with you medically.

Hope you're able to focus for your exams.