I want to be a doctor... not a patient. In fact I don't really like doctors or hospitals from a patients perspective. Maybe the subconscious reason that I'm studying medicine is "If you can't beat them... join them."
Anyway, to the point. I have a hospital appointment next week for a colonoscopy. A word that fills me with dread. To cut a long story short I've always had what I was told was irritable bowel syndrome but have never had any tests done, and earlier this year I had a couple of prolonged episodes of bloody diarrhoea... gross and slightly worrying.
So off to the gastro doctor I went after much bullying from my friends, hoping I'd be told to stop making such a fuss and to bugger off. However the doctor thinks it's best to investigate (and she's probably right), so I'm stuck having a colonoscopy in a fortnight.
As if having a camera shoved up my bottom wasn't horrific enough there is "bowel preperation" involved. I always presumed that was a couple of senna tablets. Oh no. It's a week long thing.
It starts with 3 days of being able to eat practically nothing interesting. White pasta with no sauce, white bread, white rice, white fish, steamed chicken, butter, cheese, egg, and no fruit or veg except banana. Then as if that isn't bad enough I then have to have a day of nothing except clear fluids. NOTHING. I live for food. I get so grumpy when I can't have food. I haven't eaten in 3 hours today and I'm already hungry and grumpy. Then on the day of the test I still get no food and have to wait until the afternoon to be colonoscopied.
As well as the not eating I have to take these super strong laxatives which recommend I stay near a toilet, from the night before. Fun fun fun.
A large part of me feels I'd rather bleed to death out of my bottom. My rational side says that this is a 5 day diet plan which will help me shed some tummy and will hopefully lead to a solution to all my tummy cramps, diarrhoea and bottom bleeding.
Apologies for any overshare
Heard Around The Hospital: Father's Day
11 months ago