Panic Over

I passed all the practical stations. I passed them pretty well as well. I got 75% on the one I thought I'd failed, so I can't have done that badly at all. Really relieved.

The results came out a whole day late because of the universities incompetance (for some reason I always want to write incontinence). Needless to say I've been in a state since. Last night I managed to get myself really worked up and burst into tears. I was so convinced I'd failed and waiting another day was just too much for me.

The boyf was supposed to be going out with his cousins for a few drinks and lied to me telling me it was cancelled so he could sit in and mope with me. He knew I wouldn't let him cancel on them, but he also knew how much it would mean to have someone sitting next to me, eating curry and moping. I need to think of a way to make it up to him.

Now I just have to work hard over the weekend and get through the written exams.

Lily xXx

Meh

I haven't blogged for a couple of days because I really don't have all that much to say. I'm still in inner turmoil over the fact I really think I buggered up that practical station. Should get the results by 5pm tomorrow but really don't want to know.

Otherwise it's been revision, revision, revision. Nothing much is going in. Fingers crossed the fact it's multiple choice will trigger some answers in my mind.

On a nicer note I did go out for a lovely dinner this weekend and I had champagne. It was mine and the boyfs first anniversary. In some ways it doesn't seem like we've been dating for a whole year, but in other ways it seems like more. If you'd have asked me this time last year if we'd be living together I'd definitely have just laughed and said no, but it's been really great on the whole.

Lily xXx

Idiot

I had my exam on Wednesday. I've since been wallowing in a pit of self pity because I am such an idiot.

I had 4 practical stations. 3 of the stations were okay I think. 2 history stations which I'm normally good at but at the time never know if I've done well or badly and a peripheral vascular exam which the examiner naughtily told me I'd passed.

The first station I had I completely buggered up. To make it worse the second I left the station I realised what I'd done wrong. Even more annoyingly it was one of the easiest stations. Lower limb motor examination. I was thrown off at the beginning because I wanted to check the patient's gait and I was told to move on...

I started ok after that. Checked tone. Looked for clonus. Moved onto power. Graded the power. Did reflexes. Was sure there was an ankle reflex but was told that there wasn't. Did it again and couldn't find it. Started worrying I was going mad. Got all flustered. Totally forgot to check for extensor plantar response. Got asked if it was upper or lower motor neurone as the station finished. Was in such a tizz that I can't even remember what I said.

We get the results next week, but I'm not expecting to pass this station. That annoyingly means resitting the station after written exams which is technically the start of the summer hols. Meh.

On the plus side at least I didn't let buggering up the first station put me off for the other three. I'm really really annoyed with myself though. Grrrr.

Lily xXx

Exams Are Coming Closer...

My practical exam is on Wednesday. Argh. I'm just hoping I get "easy" stations as I have so far because the idea of resitting it is a little depressing. Unfortunately around half of the people each time fail at least 1 of the stations so I can't rule it out completely.

I find it hard to "revise" for practical exams, so that only serves to make me more nervous.

In other news... I survived the colonoscopy. It was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be. The worst bit were the laxatives beforehand. I think I've now developed a phobia of pooing. They found lots and lots of polyps in my sigmoid colon, which most probably are just benign hyperplastic polyps, which is interesting to know. Only I would manage to have the bowel of a 60 year old at 22 years old.

I'm off to revise now and eat my breakfast. It's taken me about 20 mins to write this as the ferret keeps jumping into my bowl of cereal. Little bugger!!!

Lily xXx

Colonoscopy Dread

Tomorrow I am having a colonoscopy. I am dreading it. I've also started worrying that it may actually show something is wrong. This could be the madness from my hunger as I haven't eaten yet today! Meh.

Just to overshare I am also suffering some pretty gross steatorrhoea. For all you non medics, thats what happens when you can't absorb fats, your poo goes pale, floaty and incredibly stinky. Its reminded me why I avoid fatty foods like cheese. I just can't digest them. Yuk yuk yuk. I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself.

On a different note, my ferret has started writing a blog archietheferret.blogspot.com . I think you'll find he's a good little blogger and mentions his bowels less than I do (so far... although ferrets are 10% love and 90% poop).

Lily xXx

Panic Setting In

Now revision panic is really setting in. I have my mini-OSCE next week!! What's off putting is that although it's only 4 stations, it's sudden death, unlike the big OSCEs where you can still pass overall if you fail a couple of stations.

These mini-OSCEs are a lot about luck as well as actual clinical skill. If you get a couple of easy stations you're laughing, but if you get tough ones then you'll probably fail even though you'd have passed with someone else's stations. I've been lucky so far and I've had easy stations. Basic life support, examining a neck, explaining cardiovascular risk factors and then some simple history stations.

Most of the histories we do come from the pastest book. For the last 2 exams I've refused to look. I want to know how to take a history, not remember a list of questions from pastest. I've done pretty well so far. I'm getting more and more worried that I'm going to suffer for this though. What if I'd got the taking a uraemia history from a patients wife? I'd have never asked for hiccups because I hadn't read it in pastest.

On a lighter note the ferret is so fun! At the moment he's running around the living room with the brush from my dustpan and brush set in it's mouth. I wonder if I can teach him to sweep up properly. He's already shown such a little personality. He's generally playful, but gentle although he has an awful temper. He's only bitten me once and the boyf once, never hard enough to break the skin, but when he does he gets told no, tapped on the nose and put in his cage. This is when his temper starts. He'll throw his litter around and jump up and down trying to get us to let him out of the cage. He'll then sulk when it's opened later and refuse to come out for half an hour or so before he'll come over to wherever we are for a snuggle to say sorry.

Lily xXx

Welcome To The Family

There's a new edition to my household... My little 10 week old ferret called Archie.

He's coloured like a polecat and he is lovely. He was friendly straight from the word go and the second I put a litter tray in the corner he chose to poo in, he started using it. Clever little ferret. Excitingly he can even play with a ball, which is great fun to watch. Either that or I'm really easily amused.

As soon as the boyf lets me upload a photo instead of revising (which he is shouting at me to do now!) I'll put a photo of Archie up for everyone to see.

Lily xXx

Reality Strikes

Finally, probably a couple of weeks later than I would have liked, the reality of what I have to learn for my exams has hit me.

Yesterday I managed a couple of hours of reading through case studies in a book written by one of the people who writes our exam papers. By this time next week I hope to have written a couple of pages of notes to remind myself of the various drug treatments for things. Then after that, if I keep reading notes and revision-style books I think I might be okay.

Apparently only 1 person failed the written exams last year, I really don't want to be that one. It would be shocking to go down from the top quartile to the only person failing. Sense tells me that because I bothered to turn up to things this year, that even without revision I should probably scrape a pass. It would be nice to do well though. It would also be nice to feel like I'd done enough work so they night before I'm not freaking out.

On Thursday I'm going to BodyWorlds. Sooooo excited. I saw the first one in London when I was at school. I'm treating it as kind of revision. I can use it to remind myself of anatomy. Who am I kidding? It's just going to be a nice day out. Unfortunately beforehand I have to queue at the council offices to get another parking permit as they run out on Monday. I have a feeling that it could be a long and tedious morning.

Lily xXx

The Other Side

I want to be a doctor... not a patient. In fact I don't really like doctors or hospitals from a patients perspective. Maybe the subconscious reason that I'm studying medicine is "If you can't beat them... join them."

Anyway, to the point. I have a hospital appointment next week for a colonoscopy. A word that fills me with dread. To cut a long story short I've always had what I was told was irritable bowel syndrome but have never had any tests done, and earlier this year I had a couple of prolonged episodes of bloody diarrhoea... gross and slightly worrying.

So off to the gastro doctor I went after much bullying from my friends, hoping I'd be told to stop making such a fuss and to bugger off. However the doctor thinks it's best to investigate (and she's probably right), so I'm stuck having a colonoscopy in a fortnight.

As if having a camera shoved up my bottom wasn't horrific enough there is "bowel preperation" involved. I always presumed that was a couple of senna tablets. Oh no. It's a week long thing.

It starts with 3 days of being able to eat practically nothing interesting. White pasta with no sauce, white bread, white rice, white fish, steamed chicken, butter, cheese, egg, and no fruit or veg except banana. Then as if that isn't bad enough I then have to have a day of nothing except clear fluids. NOTHING. I live for food. I get so grumpy when I can't have food. I haven't eaten in 3 hours today and I'm already hungry and grumpy. Then on the day of the test I still get no food and have to wait until the afternoon to be colonoscopied.

As well as the not eating I have to take these super strong laxatives which recommend I stay near a toilet, from the night before. Fun fun fun.

A large part of me feels I'd rather bleed to death out of my bottom. My rational side says that this is a 5 day diet plan which will help me shed some tummy and will hopefully lead to a solution to all my tummy cramps, diarrhoea and bottom bleeding.

Apologies for any overshare

Lily xXx

Sun Safety

As I do at least once I year, I learn the benefits of sun safety the hard way.

I got sunburnt.

I've spent the last 2 days by the seaside as I've had no uni, and even though I put on suntan lotion, I didn't put it on often enough and I didn't cover up. The results is a sunburnt back and a very sore and sunburnt leg. Sensibly I'm staying indoors this morning, but this afternoon I want to go to the beach.

I read the last of the Twilight books yesterday, and ended up doing no work what so ever which was less than ideal. I really can't seem to knuckle down and start revising.

On a complete tangent... Why does asparagus make your wee smell funny?

Lily xXx