Afternoon Person

I've found out that I'm most certainly not a morning person, afternoon shifts in A&E even though they are much busier are so much easier to deal with. Being able to go to bed at 10 and get up at 9 or 10 instead of 6 means I'm finally catching up on all the sleep I miss.

Every weekend seems to be a drama at the moment, meaning I get even less sleep than I get when busy in the week. I'm absolutely fuming over some things that revealed themselves this weekend, it was possibly the most dramatic weekend I've had in a while. On top of all the drama I can't really talk about at the moment the boyf's niece was poorly and projectile vomitted both times we went to see her. As well as that a friend from work at home got beaten up for a bag of chips as he walked home from work. Shows what a kind of place I'm from.

Lily xXx

First Week of A&E

So it's been about a week since my last clumsy injury and *touch wood* I haven't done anything else too stupid yet. Here's to hoping that I don't get run over or something on the way to uni today.

I've started my A&E placement now. I really enjoy the variety of it, but yet again I have that horrible feeling where none of the doctors actually want you following them around. The consultant has said he doesn't want us wasting all our time taking histories and examining patients on our own as we've done over a year of that and the point of A&E is to see proceedures and how the A&E doctors tailor their histories and examination depending on the cases they see.

Embarassingly after our first tutorial the consultant pulled me to the side and told me that I was very bright and to make the most of the rotation and not let the rest of the group pull me down. I think it may have been luck and common sense that made me do well in the tutorial, but now I feel so much pressure to keep on doing well. I know next teaching session he holds I'll probably freeze up in fear.

On a non-hospital note it's been about 4 weeks since I had my hair cut and it's already grown loads. I was going to leave it until xmas to have it cut again, but I think I'll have to have it done sooner.

Lily xXx

Cursed.

Everything has been going wrong for me the past 2 days. In fact I'm a bit scared to touch the laptop incase I get electrocuted.

Wednesday I slammed the tip of my finger in the door and it's still painful now. Straight after that, in my pain filled haze, I whacked my head on a cupboard and then stubbed my toe on a toolbox the boyf left in the hallway.

Yesterday I thought my bad luck would have come in 3's so I was okay. I was so very wrong. I was knitting socks, or trying to, on quite small needles. Then I went to get a drink, stupidly leaving the knitting on the sofa (can you see where this is going?...). I sat down and then I got a text message, so I half sat up to get the phone and then flopped back down. On the knitting needle. Next thing I was in unbelievable pain and the knitting needle was a good 5cm in my left bum/hip/top of leg area. I paniced and pulled it out and then there was blood everywhere. All over my PJ's, the boyf's dressing gown that I'd stolen and the sofa. Thankfully my sofa is red. Today there's a huge bruise and it hurts to sit down. Clearly knitting is too extreme for me!

Now to make my day worse the water company have shut off the water until 4pm. Because of all of my injuries I haven't washed up for 2 days and wanted to get it done now. I also could really do with washing my hair, I hate not being able to shower when I get up.

Lily xXx

A Valuable Lesson

Tomorrow is my last day of anaesthetics. That may not even be my last day of anaesthetics just in medical school, if I don't choose to persue it any further it could be my last day of anaesthetics ever.

Practically I've learnt a lot. Putting in a cannula isn't that scary, in fact most of the time as long as there's a visable vein and you're not shy about it, it goes in eventually. LMA's are even less scary, easy as long as you're not too shy or gentle about it.

The most valuable lesson I've learn in anaesthetics so far hasn't been any of these things. Anaesthetics has taught me to empathise with patients a lot more. Whenever doing anything surgical so far I may have had a chance to smile at the patient on the ward or have a chat weeks later in outpatients, but basically I've only had to deal with them unconcious. I've truely realised how scary people find operations and how a few kind words go a long way. The anaesthetists I'd most like to have out of the ones I've been placed with have all been the one's who've held the patient's hand whilst injecting them with proprofol if they wanted or distracted the patients with ideas for lovely dreams.

Lily xXx

Silly Socks

Socks are really hard to knit or I'm really easy to confuse.

I'm trying to knit a really simple pair of socks, they're ribbed so I don't need to put a heel in as the ribbing will make them fit the foot... however I am trying to knit them on 4 needles!!

The annoying thing is not the number of needles, but the fact that whenever I lose concentration I end up somehow just knitting on 3 and having to start again. Very frustrating, but it will feel so good once I have it done.

Less than 1 week of anaesthetics left, after today I only have 3 more cannulas to get signed off before I've hit my target of 10 successful cannulas. Or is it cannulae?

Somehow I seem to be exhausted already after only 1 day of this week... I think it's going to be a long one.

Lily xXx

Traumatic Tuesday

Ok... I realise it's Wednesday, but last night I was having a mini nervous break down so didn't feel like posting.

For some reason, probably girly hormones and exhaustion, I was really down. I was upset that the boyf wasn't around, feeling disenchanted with medicine and hating having to get up early. In fact by about 6pm I had decided I was quitting and becoming a wedding planner. I am very organised after all.

Anyway the day started early. I woke up at 5am. That is after being kept awake until after 2 by my neighbors. Great. Clearly a bad start to anyone's day.

I had a morning in theatre with the anaesthetist. My first patient had dementia, the anaesthetist decided he was very lucid and let me cannulate him. I introduced myself, chatted for a couple of minutes and then tried to put in the cannula. I warned him about a scratch and just as I got the tip in he screamed and hit me. Fabulous. I realise it wasn't his fault and when you're not entirely sure what's happening around you things can be very scary, but I would have rather he hit the anaesthetist.

After that the morning was okay, but pretty dull. The anaesthetist didn't really want to teach me anything, so it made it all pretty boring. I then had an afternoon of lectures and trotted off home.

When I got home I talked to the boyf on the phone and just having a conversation with someone I love so much without being able to have a hug made me pretty blue, so I spent the rest of the night filled with self pity.

Today I've woken up much more cheerful. It's amazing what a good night's sleep can do. I also saw Gok Wan today... in a queue for coffee!

It's back to placement tomorrow, with a morning in theatre and an afternoon clinic. Suffering my usual fear that the anaesthetist will be mean and horrible, but fingers crossed it will all be good!

Lily xXx

Needles and Tubes

It's only week 2 and already I'm dreaming about cannulas and various forms of airway maintenance.

In a couple of hours in theatre I managed to steam on with my checklist of stuff to do. I need 10 cannulas and 10 LMAs, I've done 3 successful cannulas (unfortunated my success rate is down to 75% now), and 5 successful LMAs. I'll be breathing a big sigh of relief once I've got enough to get signed off. It's only week 2 and I'm already stressing about sign-ups. I'm such a worry-wart.

I'm in a bit of a funny mood this week. Mainly due to huge arguement between the boy and I. It was very much both our faults.... his for being grumpy and short tempered and mine for being steaming drunk and therefore horrible. Anyway before the arguement we've had some tears over the fact he hates commuting from my crappy flat, in a crap part of London, where I get mugged on the way home (too regularly) and we wake up to blood and faeces in the stairwell. The 24hr loud music from downstairs doesn't help either. So the arguement was a big vent of frustrations, but we've decided it'll be best if he stays at his Nan's near work during the week and then back at the flat on weekends. We'll be able to save more for a deposit on a nicer house (he'll have a lot less petrol to pay) and we won't both be grumpy and tired in the evenings.

Even though I'm happy with this new set up because it means less arguements as the flat is so small we spend all our time walking on each others toes, I can't help feeling a bit abandonned. I know if I'm upset or have a bad day he'll do the hour's drive to come and keep me company but otherwise it's just the ferrets and I... and all the scary people shouting outside. It wouldn't be so bad if I lived in a nice area, but since the "bad people" have moved in downstairs it's really horrid here.

Lily xXx